AW is back! http://mynetfam.com/forum/
 
HomePortalCalendarGalleryFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog inNew PostsArcadeBlogs

Share | 
 

 Questions for my family.

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Wing
At Least One Hundred >.>
avatar

Posts : 188
Points : 45204
Reputation : 8
Join date : 2011-10-18
Age : 105
Location : On a cloud

20120321
PostQuestions for my family.

"Attacked"
Why is this word being thrown around so much?
Familia, I need to shed some light on a complaint a few of you have.

Do you really feel you can't speak your mind? It has been my experience that we try to include the members in many decisions (maybe too many) and listen to and value your opinions. I have never witnessed an attack on someone who is giving their opinion by staff OR admin.

Could it be a misunderstanding on both sides?
Could it be you are reading things wrong?
Perhaps creating a situation that isn't there?
The reason I say this is because I know the posting style of many of you very well.
Perhaps you fear speaking your mind, so when someone responds (even if it's not to you), you expect to be attacked?
Why is there this fear? How did it come about?

People often think I am stern or angry because of my lack of cutesy emotes, as well.
Have you ever felt attacked by me?
Please help me to understand this. I encourage you to speak freely and promise not to attack anyone.
cherry

Back to top Go down
View user profile

 Similar topics

-
» Family Guy in the 41st Millenium
» Driver Hotswap to AI Questions
» New to the game: questions/comments
» Two Words: Family Guy
» 40k Tournament sportsmanship questions
Share this post on: Excite BookmarksDiggRedditDel.icio.usGoogleLiveSlashdotNetscapeTechnoratiStumbleUponNewsvineFurlYahooSmarking

Questions for my family. :: Comments

avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 5:56 pm by ChachachaChia
*Attacks wing with glomps*

This is a question I have been asking myself a lot lately. I am also curious.as to why this is since I value everyones opinion. Without other views on things we can never learn and get better. Please dont be afraid to share your thoughts, even if we disagree we still welcome them.
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 5:59 pm by Rebirth
Why is this word being thrown around so much?

Because it's an issue.

Do you really feel you can't speak your mind?


Sometimes yes. I think it's obvious why, if not I explained it in my blog. Then you haven't been there at the right times, it's definitely happened. But I won't go naming names.

Could it be a misunderstanding on both sides?


99% of the time I don't think so.

Could it be you are reading things wrong?

No.

Perhaps creating a situation that isn't there?

Wing... idk what you are seeing but there's plenty of situations where people have been attacked on AW, AW2/beta, MNF just for stating their opinions even if it was calmly written. Just because you apparently haven't seen it, doesn't mean it didn't happen.

you expect to be attacked?

I expect to be attacked sometimes. But this is hardly the problem. The problem is the people making me feel this way.

Why is there this fear? How did it come about?

People have gotten attacked for simply putting out their opinions, why wouldn't those who has gotten attacked for that be hesitant to post their true feelings on subjects.

Have you ever felt attacked by me?


Never. But it isn't you, but I digress as I said naming names wont do any good.
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 6:53 pm by HeWhoShallNotBeNamed
Quote :
Have you ever felt attacked by me?
Nope... Just betrayed when you nominated me for slave auction and you lost to Zan... xP
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:27 pm by valtizar
This applies alot to me this time, so I'll try to explain what it is for me.

It's true that you guys do try to include members in alot of discussions, and I think that's great. But to answer the question, yes, I absolutely hesitate to say what I think. Even alot of the times that I do say what I mean it's something that I've considered thoroughly and I often regret it as well. I find that a lot of people have a tendency to read things in the worst possible light and respond accordingly. I have no problem debating my position on things, and that's not what I'm referring to. But people sometimes take my opinions as hostile or mean or whatever else.

And there have been tons of times where people have been attacked for what they say. The first one that comes to mind right now was when Doom once posted a thread saying that she felt like AW had been steadily moving away from a member friendly place or something of the like, and I think she had some valid points and I agreed with her. But the response from most people was that she was way out of line, they accused her of saying AW was just like AC and things of that nature. Her opinion was barely given a glance as people jumped all over her for expressing her concerns. I have no idea if anyone else will remember that, but I remember being really disappointed with everyone over it.

I'm not saying this happens all the time, because it doesn't. But I know that a lot of people sometimes misinterpret what I say (even though I go way out of my way to make sure it's clear) so I always hesitate to say what I think. Especially given that I often feel inclined to say things that other people wouldn't say. Particularly when I point out things that staff do that I don't agree with. People just see that as me criticizing staff and not acknowledging all the hard work and awesomeness they bring to the site, and that's not what I mean to do at all.

Perhaps attacked was the wrong word to use. I think it definitely applies in some cases. But it may have been more accurate for me to say that I'm worried about hurting people's feelings, because people take things so personally all the time. In the most recent case though, I was worried not just about hurting other people, but about being attacked for what I said. It was a very emotionally charged event and I saw some of things people were saying to each other, and they weren't always nice.

Anyways, sorry for the novel. I hope it answers your questions and if it doesn't shoot me a message and I'll try to explain it better. In terms of you personally, no I have never felt attacked by you. But you may be a special case, because I find you to be very level headed and you approach everything with respect to others. Not everyone does the same.
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 8:41 pm by Wing
Rebirth wrote:

Do you really feel you can't speak your mind?

Sometimes yes. I think it's obvious why, if not I explained it in my blog. Then you haven't been there at the right times, it's definitely happened. But I won't go naming names.

Wing... idk what you are seeing but there's plenty of situations where people have been attacked on AW, AW2/beta, MNF just for stating their opinions even if it was calmly written. Just because you apparently haven't seen it, doesn't mean it didn't happen.

I expect to be attacked sometimes. But this is hardly the problem. The problem is the people making me feel this way.

People have gotten attacked for simply putting out their opinions, why wouldn't those who has gotten attacked for that be hesitant to post their true feelings on subjects.

Have you ever felt attacked by me?

Never. But it isn't you, but I digress as I said naming names wont do any good.
Thanks for your response, because your blog is one of the reasons I posted this. I would have liked to have commented in it.
I understand that things may have happened I did not witness or do not recall.
I do not want names, but am trying to understand, so please have patience with me. I would like to avoid this in the future.
I am not a fan of censorship or tyranny. And I want to help create a place where people feel comfortable speaking their mind. Being an admin, I do not have the freedom of speech you all deserve to have. I must remain calm, patient and respectful, no matter how disrespectful someone is being.
There will always be trolls. There will be members who disagree with you. It is up to you to feed them or not.
My goal is to make sure the staff NEVER acts this way.
Instead of holding it in, please report posts that offend you in the future.

HeWhoShallNotBeNamed wrote:
Quote :
Have you ever felt attacked by me?
Nope... Just betrayed when you nominated me for slave auction and you lost to Zan... xP
Please forgive my failure. I was very upset to lose you, dear Vipe. Sad

valtizar wrote:
This applies alot to me this time, so I'll try to explain what it is for me.

It's true that you guys do try to include members in alot of discussions, and I think that's great. But to answer the question, yes, I absolutely hesitate to say what I think. Even alot of the times that I do say what I mean it's something that I've considered thoroughly and I often regret it as well. I find that a lot of people have a tendency to read things in the worst possible light and respond accordingly. I have no problem debating my position on things, and that's not what I'm referring to. But people sometimes take my opinions as hostile or mean or whatever else.

And there have been tons of times where people have been attacked for what they say. The first one that comes to mind right now was when Doom once posted a thread saying that she felt like AW had been steadily moving away from a member friendly place or something of the like, and I think she had some valid points and I agreed with her. But the response from most people was that she was way out of line, they accused her of saying AW was just like AC and things of that nature. Her opinion was barely given a glance as people jumped all over her for expressing her concerns. I have no idea if anyone else will remember that, but I remember being really disappointed with everyone over it.

I'm not saying this happens all the time, because it doesn't. But I know that a lot of people sometimes misinterpret what I say (even though I go way out of my way to make sure it's clear) so I always hesitate to say what I think. Especially given that I often feel inclined to say things that other people wouldn't say. Particularly when I point out things that staff do that I don't agree with. People just see that as me criticizing staff and not acknowledging all the hard work and awesomeness they bring to the site, and that's not what I mean to do at all.

Perhaps attacked was the wrong word to use. I think it definitely applies in some cases. But it may have been more accurate for me to say that I'm worried about hurting people's feelings, because people take things so personally all the time. In the most recent case though, I was worried not just about hurting other people, but about being attacked for what I said. It was a very emotionally charged event and I saw some of things people were saying to each other, and they weren't always nice.

Anyways, sorry for the novel. I hope it answers your questions and if it doesn't shoot me a message and I'll try to explain it better. In terms of you personally, no I have never felt attacked by you. But you may be a special case, because I find you to be very level headed and you approach everything with respect to others. Not everyone does the same.
I believe I understand your feelings.
You are also extremely level-headed and there is no reason for you to lack confidence in your stand on something.
For you, just as your PS art, it seems a confidence issue sometimes. Please forgive me for saying this.
We all respect your opinion (and your art) and I, for one, appreciate your no nonsense delivery.

I like straight shooters and honest people. The confidence in standing up for what you believe should overcome the fear of getting attacked by people who don't understand or didn't read your post properly.

Stand up for what you believe, no matter what people say.
If you get attacked, it is only ignorance, nothing more.


Last edited by Wing on Wed Mar 21, 2012 8:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 8:44 pm by HeWhoShallNotBeNamed
Wing wrote:
Please forgive my failure. I was very upset to lose you, dear Vipe. Sad
Hmmm... I'll think about it... Buddha Face
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 8:52 pm by Wing
HeWhoShallNotBeNamed wrote:
Wing wrote:
Please forgive my failure. I was very upset to lose you, dear Vipe. Sad
Hmmm... I'll think about it...
I saved this for you! <3
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 8:57 pm by valtizar
You may be right about the confidence issues haha. I know it's not my strong suit.

I appreciate the encouragement. I do agree and I'd say the same to others, I just fail in practice sometimes. I don't like hurting people's feelings especially, and unfortunately people get offended and upset at alot of things that aren't meant to target them,. In those situations I wonder if it's not actually better to just keep to myself. But then, it's hard to gauge what people will be upset by :/
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:08 pm by Wing
valtizar wrote:
You may be right about the confidence issues haha. I know it's not my strong suit.

I appreciate the encouragement. I do agree and I'd say the same to others, I just fail in practice sometimes. I don't like hurting people's feelings especially, and unfortunately people get offended and upset at alot of things that aren't meant to target them,. In those situations I wonder if it's not actually better to just keep to myself. But then, it's hard to gauge what people will be upset by :/
Well now, my dear, I have the same issues. For example, I was even afraid to vote on things in the very beginning because I was fearful of who might be affected or hurt. Now I realize it is natural and necessary in a democracy. If you can't clearly state your opinion, then you will not be respected much and will be taken too lightly.
If you are too harsh, then feelings get hurt and you are branded a tyrant.
It is difficult to find a balance, yet I still try. I believe it is good for me to practice this, rather than be fueled by my emotions.
Often, people may flare up at the first sight of a post, but upon reflection and further discussion, come to understand and agree.
This is all part of our evolution and is a natural process. It is too bad people take things so personal, because ultimately it is for the good of everyone to communicate and understand each other and ourselves.


Last edited by Wing on Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:10 pm by HeWhoShallNotBeNamed
Wing wrote:
I saved this for you! <3
Lol... And I have it on my comp too... xP
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:57 pm by Zangetsu
Be proud you were a sailor scout with Vyk, Viper.
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 10:17 pm by valtizar
Wing wrote:

Well now, my dear, I have the same issues. For example, I was even afraid to vote on things in the very beginning because I was fearful of who might be affected or hurt. Now I realize it is natural and necessary in a democracy. If you can't clearly state your opinion, then you will not be respected much and will be taken too lightly.
If you are too harsh, then feelings get hurt and you are branded a tyrant.
It is difficult to find a balance, yet I still try. I believe it is good for me to practice this, rather than be fueled by my emotions.
Often, people may flare up at the first sight of a post, but upon reflection and further discussion, come to understand and agree.
This is all part of our evolution and is a natural process. It is too bad people take things so personal, because ultimately it is for the good of everyone to communicate and understand each other and ourselves.

I can't say I've been afraid to vote, but I can see what you mean. I know opinions are important, but sometimes I don't feel like dealing with the backlash. Which is a terrible excuse, I know. It is a balance, as you say. It just takes some work I suppose.
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:59 pm by ChachachaChia
Lets be honest here, anyone that speaks there mind about things, the true feelings they have on certain situations, especially the heated ones, is gonna get attacked even a little bit. its human nature to be violent and fight. Unfortunately, some people dont have the ability to look at things with a level head and instead just jump in and begin commenting. This should never be a deterrent to speaking your mind. we can never grow as a people or a culture without debate since it gets multiple views on a subject out there in the open. You are one of my favorite people ever Val, for the simple reason that you speak out when you feel its needed instead of just clamming up and being quiet, allowing the wounds to fester. I do have to comment on your example though and its in no way intended to flame that issue, just get a more fleshed out understanding of that situation. At the time DOOM posted her blog, she did have some valid complaints, yet she had taken them and blown them to the stratosphere, comparing us to AC in such. The problem with that was the fact that DOOM had been absent from the site for a very long time then. She was staff that didnt do her job and had basically disappeared. Also, she had been communicating some other members feelings and not necessarily her own opinions. this other member, who I will not name yet im sure they know i am talking about them, had some serious problems with the admins for bogus petty things and had basically made stuff up, recruited doom to speak for them to better strengthen there side. Was she attacked? Yes she was, for much the same reason that zuichi had been attacked. The only difference in that situation is that DOOM was widely liked by the people she was attacking and had came out of nowhere with it. She had spoke of things she was never involved in nor had even witnessed as if she was the sole victim.
Sorry for that WoT but I had to get that out there. I fully and wholeheartedly encourage everyone to speak there mind and express themselves. Stop being so worried about what others may think or feel and just be honest to yourself and we will all be better for it and grow into even greater nerds and geeks.

Thank you.
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:25 am by Viinasu
chia, if there was a like button on here, i'd press it on your post. XD <3
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:04 pm by Dany
i have no problem with nobody
i don't care what ppl think of me
if ppl doesn't like me is not the end of the world
5 hates me but 10 likes me so is a win
ppl takes me for an idiot i don't care i should had been mad about daisy/nate well i'm not because i don't wan't to create drama and anyway enjoyed to train him - again 0.0
i hate it and not the kind of person
if are ppl which doesn't like hearing a truth from others why should we be afraid saying it
might hurt that person feelings but we might be afraid what will happen after that ( drama, they start acting rude, starting spreading lies - buh i know well i talk from a personal experience from real life and net, i kinda lost trust in ppl, and only few ppl i really trust ,and u don't know in the end who to trust . in the person a or b , even those i thought like close friends is just a false illusion- so ya meh

so lol why so much hate between u ppl?
somethings happen u fight ten times worse back


hm did i typed a bunch of useless text ?
i guess so :O
does anyone care what i said since MNF close?
don't know o.0

avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:54 pm by ChachachaChia
I always care what you have to say, Dany.
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:08 pm by Wing
Dany, I really think this was all bound to happen.
We have all been hanging out together for a few years now and people not speaking their mind is what got us into this mess.

If they had, maybe it would not have exploded like it did. I realize it was only a handful of people, but there was a lot of history brought up in the last few days.
A lot of bad blood.

Maybe all this venting will help us move on and forgive others for mistakes they made.
Admins and staff need to be able to control their emotions and act neutrally or they should be demoted (me included).

Before the site was closed, Vyk posted her warning:
"Resolve or dissolve."

She saw no resolution, so now here we are.
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:43 pm by valtizar
@chia - admittedly I didn't know the backstory to that thread of dooms, but even hearing it explained I hardly think it excuses it. True, she shouldn't have talked about things if she didn't know what was going on, but the fact remains that she brought up an opinion and was shot down with hardly a glance. I'm sure not everyone knew the things you just mentioned either, because I certainly didn't. But regardless, it doesn't matter now, as you say.

@wing - I just want to comment on this:


Before the site was closed, Vyk posted her warning:
"Resolve or dissolve."


She did say this, it's true. But it was only a few hours later that she closed the site. I mean seriously, hours?? Sometimes people need some time to work things out. Expecting an instant solution isn't realistic.

But again, not going to beat the issue to death, just wanted to point out that that isn't the best excuse for closing the site. And I know there were other factors, but I'm not sold on them either, as you all know well by now Razz
avatar
Re: Questions for my family.
Post on Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:44 pm by ChachachaChia
First of all, just for clarification, I never said those reasons justified her being attacked, just giving an explanation as to why people were upset. That being said, she didnt deserve to be attacked for her opinions. However, what she said, if I remember correctly, was more of an attack on certain people than opinion. Me being one of them. Again, that is not important and im just saying for clarification. Bottom line is, dont be afaraid to speak your mind and no matter what factors led up to the site being closed down TEMPORARILY, they are now in the past. The site will be back as soon as we straighten everything out. Just be patient.thank you.
Re: Questions for my family.
Post  by Sponsored content
 

Questions for my family.

View previous topic View next topic Back to top 

Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Aniworlds 2 :: Blogs-
Jump to: